Chapter 9

The day after she arrived it began to rain. The wind was cool and hard. She remembered her grandmothers old wooden porch at the back of the house, the one her father had built that spring for grandmothers birthday. She would stay there on weekends and when it would rain or storm, she would sit in a rocking chair on the back porch, pull the old rag rug around her and let the drops pelt her face. The more violent the storm, the more at home she felt. Her grandmother would always yell through the screen door for her to come in. Her grandmother was too afarid to come out into the storm.
It had rained the night she found him. He was face down but she knew it was him. He was wearing the shirt she had bought for him on her trip to Nashville. She couldnt bring herself to turn him over. She walked away. When people asked her later if she had seen him, she said no. She would wait for them to tell her.
No, this was not where she should stay. Las Vegas did not feel right. He would have liked it here.

Chapter 8

The pool had an old glamour. The stars lit up against the blue pool house. She layed next to the pool and listened to the cars driving up and down Las Vegas Blvd. He would have loved it here. Without him she did not know if she would gamble. He taught her poker last winter and black jack in the spring. She was not good at either, but he always said that she made him lucky. He would insist that they stay and she would have wanted to live closer to the coast. She rolled up her jeans and dipped her feet into the water. The water was cooler then she expected.

Chapter 7

The room smelled musty. She lit a cigerette and opened a window. She picked up smoking in New Mexico. Coughing was an occassional hazard but it was worth the feeling of being someone new. Tonight she would walk all the way down The Strip. She would wait till dark to leave. She wanted to see the lights against the night sky.

Chapter 6

The motel was empty but appealing. It felt private and all hers. It was less than what most people wanted here but it was nicer than some of the places on the road. She loved the color, the pink and blue felt tropical and fresh. She paid for a week and took her key. It was the first time this felt like a vacation instead of an escape.

Chapter 5

Las Vegas was brighter than she expected. It was afternoon but she could still feel the nervous residue of her morning coffee. She would stay a day or two, maybe longer. The tennessee mountains felt so far from the facade of lights, traffic and crowds of people she found here. The blinding sun and dry breeze came through the window and gave her a rest from feeling the empty seat next to her. The heat and guilt slowly faded. She would stay, at least for now, she would stay.

Chapter 4

Dusk pulled her through the desert. As day faded and the dark started to creep into her car, she felt him. He was just over her shoulder, right behind, in the back of her mind. She loved his laugh when she met him. They had planned this trip together but she was left to take it alone. Then she thought of his last words, "I'm just going next door." That was six months ago.

Chapter 3

The side of the road gave her peace. Fences kept her from wandering to far. Wild flowers brought her mother to mind. Mother always used canning jars for vases. She picked a few for the car and put them on the dashboard. It would be dark soon.